Until it happens to you

So this week I have been listening a lot to a song that Lady gaga wrote and sang, its called 'until it happens to you' and I really have felt every word recently. I am usually a very out going person, I love being around people, love being out and about, love making sure I look well if I'm heading out anywhere.

But recently I've been quite the opposite, I really couldnt care less what I look like at the minute, I get up and your lucky if you see me with a bit of blusher on, I'm usually running to the school in my sweats and my hair tied back without so much as a brush.

I havnt wanted to really go anywhere apart from where I have to, I'll visit my mum and my suster in law but thats about it at the minute....as for as day to day emotions go, I'm all over the place, I'm fine one minute and then the next I'm about to tear the place apart because I tripped over one of DBs toys.

The point of this blog is not to tell you all about my woes and troubles but to talk about what people say when your feeling like this (depressed, anxious, etc) people to often say 'just get on with it' or 'hold your head up high' or 'just give yourself a shake' and maybe sometimes that is all we need when we feel like that, but at that moment in time, when your having a panic attack, having a depressed moment, or just damn well dont want to go on with the day there is nothing worse, it's your head, your mind and your body, no one elses!! No one else in the world knows how YOUR feeling in that moment and too many people feel guilty about feeling these things because there are worse things happening in the world, you dont have cancer for example or no one has died....thats all well and good but again in that moment your not thinking about anything but how your feeling.

There is so much guilt put on people especially parents to be so 'on it' all the time, well I'm sorry it just doesnt happen!! Sometimes we want to run away, we want to lie in our beds all day and not surface for about 3 weeks. People dont like to tell others how their feeling because of what they might think, well it's wrong, there shouldnt be any stigma, any judgement or anyone saying 'it could be worse' because NO IT COULDNT not in THAT moment and thats what people need to realise!!

I know so many people who have mental health issues and the guilt some of them feel is terrible, tablets?' no I dont need tablets.'...why not? if you had high blood pressure you would be put on tablets to bring it down, in these cases your put on tablets to bring your mood up or level it out etc it's no different, you just cant see it and thats what people dont like.

I for one am not guilty, I have felt rubbish recently and I will be going to the doctor to get help and I'm not afraid to admit that. So please if your having issues, dont be afraid to talk to someone, you will probably find they have a lot of the same issues...seriously!! you can do it :)

thanks for reading

MBDB

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